And by tired, not that kind of tired that sleep can cure.
Wala akong laban. Kasi ‘di ako malandi.
Say what you want. Tell me things that you already know so well that I couldn’t and wouldn’t believe in an instant. But can you blame me? I’m a girl, I get jealous and irritated about things you consider as “nothing”.
It’s a Sunday morning, I know. I shouldn’t be making depressing posts. But writing about what I feel seems to be the only reasonable gateway to make an escape from all this bullshit.
I’m so tired, I can’t figure out well what to write next.
This morning is one of those mornings that you wake up and sit still on your bed wiping off tears with your bare hands. I cry because I feel that I’m not enough. I want to work things out but I’m afraid that my efforts will be discarded. It’s really hard keeping people in your life. Especially when you’re used to standing on your own two feet, it’s even harder. Much like playing a new game on extreme mode.
I won’t be writing about what literally happened this morning, it’s tad depressing. Everything literally hurts. Even the lightest touch stings. I just want to be alone somewhere distant and think about what happened. Or have a willing accomplice with me whom I can talk to and he/she would hopefully understand. But I’ve decided I’d keep it to myself and to those involved.
I apologize if you feel what you read was nonsense. I don’t understand myself too, so I resort to writing my feelings out.
I just want to be good enough for somebody… 😦 I feel like trash that anyone can easily scrap off and replace.
But I vow to myself that someday I will prove you all wrong. That I am better than you think. That I’m worthier than you perceive.